I have finally figured out why many marriages aren't working.
Both couples have to do something to contribute to the marriage.
If one or the other party does something to destabilize the marriage such as spend copius amounts of money on themselves even to the detriment of the roof over the marriages head then the marriage will fail and the offending party will find themselves holding the bag....because the offended other half of the marriage will one day end the marriage........
Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Now obviously Jesus saying this; he could not have possibly meant, 'Siamese twins' flesh, yet when you are married there is a spirit of marriage you enter into; like a house, The Father creates an entity that is the two of you joined....sort of; I picture in my minds eye, like a two headed person, pure and perfect before him. Rather beautiful. But just like people the marriage has to be fed, clothed, housed, and comforted. Loved and nurtured by both the man and the woman who are part of the marriage.
To do that; first there must be a separate roof over that marriage....without which the marriage suffers and dies. Under that roof the couple must strive together to maintain and keep that roof. If either of the two parties does anything to endanger that roof; like my wife has, the marriage will die. That is why alcoholics, drug addicts, sex addicts, or criminals lose their marriage. That does not completely explain why the divorce rate is yet so high in America. It is not because divorce is so easy; it is because We here in America have over thought what a healthy marriage is.
A healthy marriage is not a marriage full of gifts, bobbles, trinkets, and gadgets. A healthy marriage is where both parties set within each of themselves to do whatever it takes to care for the shelter of the marriage; both today and for the future. If either party takes for granted the roof, and does things outside of the marriage that endangers that shelter, then you are guaranteed marital disaster.
It says to the offended party that the offender of the roof does not believe the marriage will last or that the marriage is one of convenience. And frankly that is what most marriages have become today. A convenience. Like it is a appliance or something; that if the convience of it wears out you can just get a new one. That is WHY mariages are failing at such a high rate in the US today. I have seen 2 decades of writing, TV shows, and seminars on marriage. I have heard a hundred sermons from well educated preachers on marriage, and this day I say they were all stupid left wing, athistic, secularist, humanistic dung being babbled out by decieved men, who thought a night out with a wife, throw in some jewlery, and some nice presents and voila a good marriage; bullsnot, yet those marriages fail just as often if not more . Time to preach: got a roof,?.... take care of the future of the marrital roof, serve God and all will be well.....Maybe.....bumpy.....probably....but together always.....
I don't want an appliance to be my wife, I want a living breathing thinking participating companion in living life. What I don't want; and no one should want, is someone who you kiss butt to to get some sack and cooks a meal. I want someone who would participate with me in choosing a path not go along for the ride. Anyone I meet on the street would just go along with me but then again they don't have to live with me.
If you are just going along with someone whom your married to just to get along; THAT IS NOT WHAT MARRIAGE IS ABOUT, not a happy marriage anyway.
If the marriage takes for granted the marriage and is secure that the couple will continue to tend to it, the the marriage will take care and defend each person in the marriage even the children that are produced will then become an enhancement and strengthen the marriage.
When I see my marriage in my minds eye, my half is alive but Karen's is near dead. She has not cared for the marriage and her part is just hanging limply. She has not done her part. She has not fed her half. She says she loves me but feeling an emotion you prescribe to love is not enough to keep a marriage alive. You must work to ensure it's long term survival. Spending every penny that passes through your hands and then begging your spouse for more will ensure your spouse will become uncomfortable with the idea that the marriage will last.
Young men....Never marry someone who has been a victim of rape, incest, or molestation.....They have no clue.
I wish I would have known before I married this one.....I would have avoided her like she was a leper.....Every one of them lies like a stinkin dog, twistes and manipulates, and will destroy your finances fastern' a category five hurricane. And they will always be unfaithful. And she has....